My Heart and the Real World by Broken Gopher Ink

Comedy-Drama (monologues)/ Multiple Characters, 5 actors minimum, 3 Men, 2 Women/ One acts, written in 3 parts to be performed over 3 nights

Synopsis: (From the off-off-Broadway Review): “Sketches that can only be described as edgy, dealing with alienation, despair, and loathing (of oneself and others). Which sketches are presented on any given night is decided randomly . . .lives with his middle-aged mother, Geg, and is “in a relationship” with Lindahl, but his real love is his drums. Maybe you’d prefer making loud sounds to growing-up, too, if your Mother was having sex with your cousin (her nephew, that’s right) and your girlfriend wants to bring her “emotional heart into harmonious balance.”

“Among them were ‘Everybody’s Trying to Be My Baby,’ narrated by a woman who fucked all four Beatles (and their manager/pimp) and fantasizes about the child she had to give up nine months later. While loaded with a narcotized horror on one level (she was 14 when she let herself be led back to the Fab Four’s hotel), the piece bubbles with an undertone of humor, pointed up by casual details (the squalor of the hotel suite; one Beatle’s bad breath; another’s breaking into tears after sex).”

Another standout was ‘Don’t Touch the President’s Brain,’ a reminiscence by a cleaning woman who happened to be in the emergency room when President Kennedy was brought in after getting shot. The title is a quote from a Secret Service man who tells her off after she accidentally picks up part of Kennedy’s brain.”

Other [characters] included a deranged Trekkie obsessed with Deanna Troy; a harassing caller who gets children to divulge secrets, and then uses that information in subsequent harassing calls to the parents; and a manic but ultimately depressing attendee at a reunion. Not a straight arrow in the quiver.

“The final sketch, a funeral eulogy, has the priest dissing God in ever-more-bitter terms. It sums up the sense of futility that underlies all the sketches’ weirdness.”

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Performance rights must be secured before production
Contact information:
Amateur and professional rights:
Broken Gopher Ink
1521 9th Ave
Greeley, Colorado
USA 80631
Ph.: 970-352-7898
Playwrights’ website:

About the Playwright: Broken Gopher Ink’s plays have been produced by Love Creek Productions, The Harold Clurman Theatre, The American Theatre of Actors, The Quartz Theatre, The Soupstone Project, Beverly Hills Cable Access, Ironbound Theatre, and Theatre Three (N.Y.C.), to name only a precious few. Their fabulous and nonfattening plays, all of which have been aggressively rejected by the Denver Center, are: M.I.B. (1987),Murder in the Men’s Store (1988), Stigmata (1989), Clazion Catches Light (1991), Confetti (1993), My Heart and the Real World (1998) and Hurt(2000). Their work has won numerous cheap awards, including the 1995 Love Creek One Act Festival in New York City, which resulted in a visit from the unstable pair.

My Heart and the Real World was first produced by Love Creek Productions at The American Theatre of Actors, New York City in October, 2000.